A rant about my lack of maternal instinct

I'm not child friendly. Maybe this goes against the maternal instinct that I as a woman am supposed to bare, but they are loud, selfish and impossible to communicate with. Give them stubble and a beer gut and they could be an ex boyfriend.

These feelings were further fuelled by an unfortunate train ride earlier today. Unbeknown to me I had boarded a family friendly carriage, complete with crying babies, screaming toddlers and one particulary annoying culprit who sang Baa Baa Black Sheep over and over again. Not the entire song though, just those four words. Someone needs to teach that girl a damn song or just find a way to silence her. Never have I felt such anger towards someone in pastel dungarees.

But before I make myself sound like Rose West in the making I would like to point out that being the baby of my family hasn't given me much experience around young children. Maybe this is why I find children so irritating when they act..well, childish. I'm sure if I ever have children of my own I will love them no matter how loud, messy or selfish. One things for sure though. If they must sing politically incorrect nursery rhymes, I'll at least make sure they know the full song.